According to Wikipedia:
Embarrassment is an emotional state of intense discomfort with oneself, experienced upon having a socially unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss of honor or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the embarrassing situation. It is similar to shame, except that shame may be experienced for an act known only to oneself. Also, embarrassment usually carries the connotation of being caused by an act that is merely socially unacceptable, rather than morally wrong.
When I feel embarrassed, I want to curl up in the fetal position. My body is tense. I want to tilt my head downward, so I can’t see anyone. Perhaps this is the same sort of response my pet parrot had. He thought you couldn’t see him if he couldn’t see you. He used to hide his head in a box, and talk with his tail feathers fanned widely.
What should you do when you feel embarrassed? Well, it depends on what you want! Here are some possibilities of things you might want:
- To not be embarrassed when a situation like this comes up in the future.
- To observe yourself feeling embarrassed from a place of curiosity.
- To learn how to not be embarrassed and/or to calm down quickly when you are embarrassed
- To take embarrassment as a signal and use it to not do the thing again!
1. How to not be embarrassed when a situation comes up over and over again that you feel embarrassed in response to.
You know how sometimes there’s a situation that you find embarrassing that you just find yourself in over and over? For me, this used to happen when I needed to speak loudly. I would have an extremely hard time projecting my voice. When I did, I would often duck my head and mumble something apologetic quickly afterward. I felt so flustered and mortified!
How do I deal with this situation better now? The first thing is centering myself. When I do a short grounding meditation first, it is much easier to speak up with intention. This has helped me immensely with my fear of speaking loudly. When I first gather myself, and move to a place of speaking with intention, projecting my voice is something I can do. As I practice, it gets easier and easier, and I feel less and less embarrassed. I feel refreshed and satisfied with all of the progress I’ve made!
Other techniques that I use to help center myself are to take three deep breaths, and to visualize something you to be peaceful. The visualization could be waves crashing on the beach on a summer’s day, where you can smell the salt in the air and hear the seagulls. You could also visualize yourself having success at confidently doing whatever it is you feel embarrassed about.
You could also view the situation as though you were an outside observer who sees the scene as funny or ironic. From this removed perspective, you can see how funny it is and enjoy it! Try thinking about what you are doing as an improv skit.
At Positive Vector we provide a counseling service that helps you get to the route of what it is you find embarrassing, so that you don’t feel so much inner turmoil when future embarrassing situations come up. We’re happy to see what we can do to help if you want to try a 30 minute demo. To find out more, email us at contact @ positivevector.com.
Click here to return to How to Deal with Embarrassment.
- Shannon Friedman
Find your passion.
Follow Us!