2.  How to observe yourself feeling embarrassed from a place of curiosity.  

Eastern philosophies and practices like Internal Family Systems teach you to see parts of yourself as distinct from the part of you that observes them.  When you feel embarrassed, you can have another part of yourself that feels compassion for the part of you that is embarrassed.

When I feel embarrassed and try separating my mind into an embarrassed part and a part observing the embarrassment, I instantly relax.  When I’m able to do it that is… it takes practice.  Practices that help include:

• Meditation – Meditation can help speed up the process quite a bit.
• Big Mind -  Big Mind is the first practice I ran into personally that is similar to IFS.
• IFS – IFS is a practice of looking at your mind as separate parts that we use here at Positive Vector.
• Reading about practices like Big Mind, IFS, and other techniques for disassociating from the part of your mind that is embarrassed, and talking to a friend practicing these techniques.

Its uncomfortable to feel embarrassed!  Let the part of you that feels embarrassed feel how much you sympathize with it.  It might sound weird at first.  When you practice, you will find that it works!  You can also be curious.  Ask yourself: Where do I feel the embarrassment in my body?  Is that my forehead scrunching?  Do I feel little lines in my brow?  What is that sensation in my eyes when they squeeze shut?  What images are going through my mind?  What is the first time I recall feeling this way?

When I do this, as I explore my embarrassment.  I become less embarrassed, because its so interesting!  The way my mind and body carry the emotion of embarrassment is fascinating.  When I feel embarrassment I’m brought back to a picture of the school yard when I was in preschool.  I see the sand of the playground.  I see shadows as my eyes squeeze shut.  I put my hand to my face and duck my chin.  I found this visualization when doing IFS, so now I have a visualization of one of the first times I felt embarrassed.  I find it much easier to disassociate from my embarrassment now that I can see it as something that this little girl developed.  People feel and display embarrassment in so many unique and fascinating ways!  Try to find yours.  If you want help, contact us!

Click here to return to How to Deal with Embarrassment.

- Shannon Friedman

Find your passion.